Coda
January 3rd, 2017It’s been eight years since I’ve updated this site. Both my life and the world have changed in dramatic ways since then. I have, occasionally, thought about resurrecting this podcast. Is there a place, in the world of Facebook and Twitter and dozens of other social media sites, for the reading of letters to lost friends? I think so, but the time has never seemed right.
Now is not the right time either.
Then why post an update to a site and a project abandoned nearly a decade ago?
I was sent a letter and, even though I’m not planning on recording a podcast for it, I can’t simply ignore the submission. So I offer a final entry—at least for now—to this podcast in the form of text:
Letter to Lost Friend: From Hana
I have a life here. I am happy. I have friends, I do well in school, I laugh and smile everyday, but I still miss you. I’ll never stop missing you when you’re not here. It feels so weird to not have you with me. I want to write to you everyday, I want you to know that I love you more than anyone. I want you to feel what I feel, even just a fraction of it. I want you to feel my love from oceans away. Sometimes I wish you could speak English because I want to say so many things to you but can’t figure out a way to say it. But I guess that’s what makes us unique. We speak different languages but still found out a way to communicate, to express ourselves, to live. Every thought of my future contains you. Waiting for me, living with me, loving me, and we’ll never be apart again. I’ve been waiting for so long. I’m sorry I left you. If I had a choice, I never in a million years would’ve left you for so long. Long enough to cause heartache and loneliness and tears. We’re moving in together when we reunite, you know that? I’m only a child but I know a soulmate when I see one. A soulmate doesn’t have to be a lover. I was a child when I met you and I am still young now, but our friendship is real, alive, and beautiful. I remember the days leading up to my leaving, you got paler and paler by the day. You would look at me and tears would spring to your eyes and I was sorry, so sorry, am still sorry even now. There was so much adventure and excitement with you. Even our long days of eating chocolate on the bed, sprawled out with our limbs overlapping each other’s, even those days were exciting. Our long walks and long talks and secret smiles that we shared, I long for those more than I can bear. I would trade immortality or a million dollars for one day with you. If I saw you right now I would burst into tears. If I saw you right now I would never let anybody separate us again. To me, life is all about love and happiness. My goal in life is to find you, love you, and be happy together. Out of all the people in this world, I would want to share my happiness with you. So when I die, I would be content knowing that I found you, loved you, and made my life count for you and me. I love you. Don’t forget it.
As the world grows dark and troubled and power is concentrated in the hands of the cruel, heartless, and despotic, reach out to your friends and hold their hands or lift them up or watch their back or simply remind them, softly and urgently, that they are loved.